It’s an idea I should have passed on but didn’t and now I’m invested. So deal with it. Hell of an attention grabber, eh?
3. The BvS 10 is an All Terrain Armoured Vehicle produced by BAE Systems Land Systems Hägglunds. What it lacks in deflective slope, reactive armor, battle ability, sensible design and deadliness it makes up for by being a goddamn armored ChooChoo train. Or an armored RV with a camper? I dunno – you tell me. But it’s got enough room for a family of ten, pets, and a decent kitchen space for food on the run. Check out the stats on this hilarious abominiation.
|Mass||5.0 tonnes (front car)|
3.5 tonnes (rear car, APC version)
|Height||2.2 m (front car)|
2.1 m (rear car)
|Crew||driver + 4 passengers (front car), 8 passengers (rear car)|
|heavy machine gun on ring mount|
|smoke grenade launchers (front), mortars (back)|
|Engine||Cummins 5.9 litre in-line six-cylinder turbocharged diesel|
202 kW (275 hp)
|Maximum speed||65 km/h (roads)|
5 km/h (water)
2. The Nurol Edjer doesn’t just sound like a magic Shadow Run artifact – it looks like one too.
Designed by the guys over at TimeCop, this Turkish phenemonen is actually a pretty decent run for its money,
proving again that lifelong lesson that looks aren’t everything.
We are looking at a battle-tested, small arms proofed, sloped, IED-reflecting, 120kph driving 720 km going, one spare wheel mounted at the rear having, Kurdish-Turkish conflict battling, machine gun, anti-aircraftgun, and automatic grenade launcher toting Super Humvee.
|Produced||Ejder 6×6:2008 Ejder Yalçın 4×4:2014|
|Variants||Armored personnel carrier, infantry fighting vehicle|
|Mass||Ejder 6×6: 18 tons, Ejder Yalçın 4×4 14 tons|
|Length||Ejder 6×6: 7.05 m, Ejder Yalçın 4×4 :5.4m|
|Width||Ejder 6×6: 2.69 m, Ejder Yalçın 4×4 :2.5m|
|Height||Ejder 6×6 2.4 m, Ejder Yalçın 4×4 :2.3m|
|Crew||Ejder 6×6: 2+10, Ejder Yalçın 4×4 : 2+9|
|Armor||All welded steel armour up to STANAG-4569 level 4|
|7.62mm / 12.7 mm machine gun|
|25mm AA gun 40mm automatic grenade launcher|
|Engine||Ejder 6×6 :Cummins 6-cylinder turbocharged diesel,Ejder Yalçın 4×4 : Cummins diesel engine|
Ejder 6×6: 402 hp,Ejder Yalçın 4×4: 375 hp
|Power/weight||Ejder 6×6 :22.33 hp/tonne|
|700 km for both versions|
|Maximum speed||120 km/h for both versions|
3. The Aardvark Mark IV – a masochist’s dream. This British design came about when Sir Bottlesworth VI looked at a tractor working his fields and thought to himself, “That think needs less functionality and more whipping.” A porn franchise legend was born. Check it out in its 50 Shades of Glory!
In my life I have never seen an armored vehicle that begged for a swirly so hard.
|Armour||56 mm armoured glass windows, double-skin cab floor|
|Engine||turbo charged New Holland diesel engine|
|Transmission||4-speed syncromesh; 4 gears, 16-speed|
Let me know in the comments or e-mail about what I should write about next. Thanks Nolan Locke, who is definitely a real person, for suggesting such a crap topic. You suck.