Tucker Carlson Just Cannot Believe It’s Not Butter

Tucker Carlson, noted right wing professional feeling haver and known recently for having completely misunderstood the idea of defunding and disbanding the present police force, expressed shock and rage after being told that his treasured tub of desk drawer butter “was not butter.”

You Liberals are going to pay for this!!!!

“I just cannot believe it,” the man declared, kicking a puppy and launching it across the studio. “What kind of sick fuck would market butter that isn’t butter?!”

Pictured – Double the Madness!

The man was escorted off the premises and returned much calmer, sources say. Sitting down and hugging the tub to his chest, he explained that, “Just because butter believes it is not butter doesn’t mean that it isn’t butter. Lieberals can call it not butter all they want, I’ll always know the truth.”

Published by Damien Lee Hanson

I am the founder of Damien Hanson Books. Come check out awesome authors right here at my website!

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