I’m a huge Dnd nerd. And yes, I know that cover photo is not Dnd but its close enough. Don’t judge me. You’re not my mom. Anyways the treasure trove that is the internet sent me on occasional binges of beer and googling funny covers and this right here is the result of all of those nights of “research”. May I present todays cover write up, Dnd covers! Oh and check out Dndmemes on Facebook for more!
Have you ever wondered about the back story of all of those monsters that you encounter when you play? Maybe those orcs that you just killed were on a picnic. Maybe that kobold you slew was a teenager looking for a place to smoke. I like to imagine that this adventure focuses just on that. The good adventurers are tasked by the mayor to clear out the nearby cavern – but it is legitimately owned by a down on their luck family of chimerae just looking to scratch out a living in the poverty stricken land. The stout heroes will be quickly confused not only by the lack of treasure but also the indignant responses of the sad but brave monsters within. Roleplaying ensues!
A kinky level 20 archmage has descended on the quiet village of Gleason with just one thing mind – the sex party of the century! Can the stout adventurers wade through the sticky mess of gyrating animals, monsters and beasts to chastize the wizard for his irresponsible use of magic? And why is he smiling at them like that? Plus what’s up with all of those whips and chains?!
3. Turn Around . . . Look at what you seeeeeeeeeee!
4. Levels 0 – 1? Really?!
Meant for the start of the campaign, the stout noob PCs head out out on what is said to be a simple quest, only to sensibly turn around and abandon said quest in favor of something actually meant for their levels. The DM gets to show some real acting chops here as he whines and moans about the players not following with his projected campaign arc and assures them that their 1st level characters could well easily defeat a few hundred tornadoes.
5. Party crashing!
It’s the necromancer’s birthday party and the PCs thoughtlessly forgot to invite chief nemesis Sayjin the Sorrid, Lich King over the Southern Wastes. After raiding the village and taking pictures of the adventurers naked girlfriends, the undead horde sells the images at the bottom of pie tins during a pie eating contest, then Sayjin kidnaps the birthday stripper and takes her place, dancing the dance of a thousand veils. This module is 100% Live Action Role Play, no die required.
The latest Dnd expansion, Mordengandalf’s Miraculously Money-Making Manual, now includes the ability for PCs to be giant bugs! Watch in hilarity as the DM pulls out what little hair he has left while watching the PCs min-max a new variety of over one-thousand player races to make the latest batch of Over-Powered Unstoppable Level One Bearbarian Druids.
This boxed module comes complete with semi-precious stones that kinda look like boobs when set at the right angle. Watch in wonder as the DM places the stones upon the table, then stroke with heroic vigor. The first finished levels up!
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