Why won’t these Goddamn Chosen Ones stay out of my Goddamn Garden?

Well it is springtime again. The air is fresh and clean, the flowers are rising up as green hopeful stalks from the wet and loamy ground. And the promise of a new wonderful year is just around the corner.

It is a beautiful time for most. But for me, it is a time of war and conflict. A time of questioning. Did I turn the stove off? Is it going to rain? And why, oh why, won’t these chosen ones stop coming into my garden?

I’m here to save the world, and kill your garden

It is truly horrendous, how they swish and swipe, slicing stalks and swathes of decorative wooden fencing alike in their quest for, well, something. Am I their nemesis? And what is with those names and health bars above their heads. Also, why the hell do my plants sometimes offer gems and items upon their annihilation? What the hell am I growing out there?

And why is it looking at me?

And don’t tell me that just because these people are the world saviors means that they can do whatever they want. I have to make my own pots because they get smashed every week, sometimes giving up hearts or strangely colored potions. And then they tear through all of my chests, dressers and drawers, taking me for all I’m worth. Funny thing is, I swear I haven’t made a coin in a decade yet they always find something.

I feel like I’ve angered the gods. They come and they come, smashing and looting, staying ever silent as I plead and beg for them to just please, this one time, let me live my life.

I’ve picked up my life too many times and I’m heading out. This is En P. Sea the 3rd, and I’ve had it up to here with heroes.

So long suckers!

Hey thanks for the read and if you liked that feel free to jump on in and sign up with me. I’m going to try to keep up one article a week but might only manage two a month. I guess stay tuned to see what happens!

Published by Damien Lee Hanson

I am the founder of Damien Hanson Books. Come check out awesome authors right here at my website!

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