“How To” Presents : So You Pissed Off The End Game Boss Already — And You’re Only First Level

Welcome to the How To, the brilliant series of articles detailing how to deal with common problems within the game. Today we are going to tackle a problem that comes up rather regularly around these parts. To note: You are an incredibly unlikeable person who has, within his first five minutes of entering the system, managed to piss off the big bad end boss.

Now I know what you are thinking. What did I do? What kind of person does this? Am I some kind of freak?

No worries. I’m not here to judge you. Freak. I’m here to give you advice on what to do once your totally unique strangeness gets you in trouble.

1. First, figure out what you did to piss him off. Are you with others? If you are, take the opportunity to discuss the possibilities with your fellow gamers while constantly suggesting that it is somehow one of their faults. This will make you look heroic and will result in the not leaving you to face your doom on your lonesome. In some cases this can even get you out of the situation, some noble patsy tied to a tree and left for the Big Bad as sacrifice.

But what if I am on my own?

2. Find human shields. Blame them for whatever faux pas your dumbass mouth created, then hide behind them as the terror unfolds. Doing this correctly might level the entirely of your game world’s first Act, but you’ll be gone long before the carnage finishes, save to hunt rabbits and squirrels in the forests to level up enough to functionally compete in the 2nd Act.

The fleshy sacrifice of NPCs wasn’t enough! I’m in Act 2 and the Big Bad is still following me!

3. Every time you level up, put everything into abilities and feats that will keep you from being hit. The Big Bad is not meant to be fought for at least another 50 hours of gameplay. Yet here you are, stuck in the game, with a giant unstoppable monster of doom hot on your tail. There is no valor in dying to it. Kill everything low level enough to die, and any level ups you get, throw them into not dying. I’m talking kittens, puppies, midgets — kick them hard as you pass and watch those xps come flittering in.

Crap. I’ve been everywhere. The whole world is in flames. All of the NPCs are dead. I am the last one here. Dear god, what can i do?

Thanks for checking in with ‘How To’! For more advice, see our companion volume, ‘How To: I am Death, Devourer of Worlds’

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